Was Russell Crowe an art director?

Lets’ face it. Russell Crowe is a bad ass. When I go to see a Russell Crowe movie my expectations are as high as they get. And the 2½ plays that I acted in… in college… in the small theatre… on the old part of campus… basically gives me critiquing rights of any actor any place at any time, right?

Now that you are aware of my credentials let me make one thing ridiculously clear, I don’t know Russell Crowe (big surprise) have never met him, never seen his parenting skills or had a conversation with the man but for some reason (and for the sake of this article) I know one thing for sure… he’s an ass. A real cocky, temper-tantrum throwing, my way or the highway, jerk.

I think we can all agree that “a-holes” are in the eye of the beholder so to give you an idea of who I am, I tend to be the nice guy that avoids confrontation, gets along with almost everyone and navigates tricky water strategically through the path of least resistance. I’m sure you all know one of me, and you either love me or you mistake my style as a reflection of the size, shape and thickness of my spine. Regardless, in the spirit of non-disclosure, that is the point of view that I am coming from.

Okay, who cares right? What ‘s my point? My point is… would you work with Crowe?

Not gawk at him, get an autograph and brag to your friends about who you’re working with. I mean, be vulnerable, brainstorm with, critic and be critiqued by Mr. Russell Crowe?

You see, I’m a creative director at an ad agency and I’d like to think that my job can be similar to that of a movie director. It makes sense when you think about it. I find and direct great talent to do what they do best. In my case, it’s to be creative, write, invent and create great ad campaigns. Plus, I’m a frustrated actor and Leo so deep down inside my ego needs to believe that I am some sort of star or celebrity, hence the Hollywood director correlation. Okay, let’s move on… here’s the complicated layer to my job, which I will for obvious reasons relate straight back to the movie director (in this case Ridley Scott) and Mr. Crowe relationship, the finished product is the thing that is judged by everyone: the critics, the box office, the “academy.” Do the critics care how much of an ass Crowe was on the set of Gladiator? Do the box office dollars mind the four months of attitude brought to the set each of day of filming? Of course not. But, how did the crew feel? Specifically how did the lighting guy feel when he walked across the set at the wrong time, in an effort to make sure he was just doing his best, only to be made a mockery of by… oh wait, that was Christian Bale… tomato- tomahto. The question is… is this premadonna attitude worth dragging 500 other people through a torturous work environment?

I guess in the movie business, it is. Ridley Scott has hired Crowe, time and time again since Gladiator and produced one great film after another so who am I to say he did anything wrong. Maybe it’s worth it to the 500+ people involved to be a part of this torture, in an effort to be a part of a great finished product.

But, what about Tom Hanks and George Clooney? These guys have a great reputation on set. From everything that I’ve heard (and I am the resident expert, remember the plays in college?) people actually have fun working with Clooney and Hanks is supposedly a total gentleman.

One thing is for sure, I'll will be critiqued by my final product, too. The process doesn’t matter to clients, consumers, potential clients and award shows. They just need the ideas to be great. And to work.

So what would you do in my shoes? Really? What would you do?

If you say I should hire Crowe, make kick ass "movies" and weather the outbursts at the lighting guy twice a week, tell me about it.

If you think that life is too short to work with “a-holes” and you don’t have to be a cocky, temper-tantrum throwing, my way or the highway, jerk to have a great portfolio- then send it to me. I’m hiring.