I’ve always hated listening to feedback. But a few years ago, I found a way to stop hating it and start – dare I say – enjoying it. I’m not just talking about edifying strategic feedback that makes your work better. Or the pat on the back, “Good job, kid, you’re really going places” kind, either. I’m talking about the ridiculous, “Who gave this jackass the microphone?” stuff, too.
I realized that every word, every reaction, every facial expression is
an opportunity to learn something about human behavior. Don’t forget, whether
you are a writer, an art director, a designer or any creative agency-type, your
job is to understand why humans do what we do. Which means that every time someone
critiques your work, you have an opportunity to witness something interesting:
the real, motivating “why” behind simply “what” the person is saying.
Look at it this way, everyone is narcissistic. Don’t mistake this with
confidence or cockiness. I’m talking about the majority of people being wrapped
up so tightly in their own world that they are incapable of seeing someone
else’s. Creative people can be the worst offenders. But we can become better
in-tune when we step away from our own ego and start to really listen, at least
during a critique. So, why should we? Because when we do, something incredible
happens. For starters, we stop feeling threatened by every word that comes out
of said critics’ mouths. That alone feels pretty good.
But here’s what else happens: it opens you up to really, truly listening
to someone. This is where the fun starts. Listening can teach you so much.
Granted, you’re not always directly learning something about your target
audience. But, you are learning something about the person talking. I call them
your “next” audience. This is the next person in line designated to offer their
advice, feedback or approval. Often times your next audience is your most important – usually your client,
sometimes your creative director or account person – because your next audience can squash a great idea
faster than you can put the cap on a Sharpie. And most of the time, you have no
say in the matter. We all hope we can otherwise convince them our ideas are
sound, but the truth is, it’s usually a done deal.
So, now what? Your ego is gone, your next
audience kills your idea, and there’s nothing you can do about it. But without
your own ego, you have time to focus on theirs. You can really get a sense of
where they are coming from. Where they are getting their words. You’ll begin to
notice the difference between insightful observations and insecurity, pandering
and thumb-printing. A nervous employee afraid for their job or just someone
with crappy taste. The best part is that you start to notice the battles that are winnable, too.
Try this. Next time your next
audience is in the throes of critique, don’t just pay attention to what they
are saying, but also pay attention to how they are saying it. Ask yourself why
they’re saying it, where it may be coming from. Is it really about you and your
work, or is it about them? Removing your ego removes you from the personal
attachment to your idea. This changes the voice in your head from yelling,
“They hate it. They hate me.” to asking questions like, “Is he right?” or “Why is
she nervous?”
If you can truly focus on the behavior of your next audience, not only will it open you up to hearing the good
feedback that will make your work better – and your relationship with
colleagues and clients stronger – it also will be a great lesson in
understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around you and your wonderful ideas.
Though I have to admit, most days I still wish it did.
