I Love Crappy Feedback

I’ve always hated listening to feedback. But a few years ago, I found a way to stop hating it and start – dare I say – enjoying it. I’m not just talking about edifying strategic feedback that makes your work better. Or the pat on the back, “Good job, kid, you’re really going places” kind, either. I’m talking about the ridiculous, “Who gave this jackass the microphone?” stuff, too.

I realized that every word, every reaction, every facial expression is an opportunity to learn something about human behavior. Don’t forget, whether you are a writer, an art director, a designer or any creative agency-type, your job is to understand why humans do what we do. Which means that every time someone critiques your work, you have an opportunity to witness something interesting: the real, motivating “why” behind simply “what” the person is saying.

Look at it this way, everyone is narcissistic. Don’t mistake this with confidence or cockiness. I’m talking about the majority of people being wrapped up so tightly in their own world that they are incapable of seeing someone else’s. Creative people can be the worst offenders. But we can become better in-tune when we step away from our own ego and start to really listen, at least during a critique. So, why should we? Because when we do, something incredible happens. For starters, we stop feeling threatened by every word that comes out of said critics’ mouths. That alone feels pretty good.

But here’s what else happens: it opens you up to really, truly listening to someone. This is where the fun starts. Listening can teach you so much. Granted, you’re not always directly learning something about your target audience. But, you are learning something about the person talking. I call them your “next” audience. This is the next person in line designated to offer their advice, feedback or approval. Often times your next audience is your most important – usually your client, sometimes your creative director or account person – because your next audience can squash a great idea faster than you can put the cap on a Sharpie. And most of the time, you have no say in the matter. We all hope we can otherwise convince them our ideas are sound, but the truth is, it’s usually a done deal.

So, now what? Your ego is gone, your next audience kills your idea, and there’s nothing you can do about it. But without your own ego, you have time to focus on theirs. You can really get a sense of where they are coming from. Where they are getting their words. You’ll begin to notice the difference between insightful observations and insecurity, pandering and thumb-printing. A nervous employee afraid for their job or just someone with crappy taste. The best part is that you start to notice the battles that are winnable, too.

Try this. Next time your next audience is in the throes of critique, don’t just pay attention to what they are saying, but also pay attention to how they are saying it. Ask yourself why they’re saying it, where it may be coming from. Is it really about you and your work, or is it about them? Removing your ego removes you from the personal attachment to your idea. This changes the voice in your head from yelling, “They hate it. They hate me.” to asking questions like, “Is he right?” or “Why is she nervous?”

If you can truly focus on the behavior of your next audience, not only will it open you up to hearing the good feedback that will make your work better – and your relationship with colleagues and clients stronger – it also will be a great lesson in understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around you and your wonderful ideas. Though I have to admit, most days I still wish it did.